I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I have post one night stand depression
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
