Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I don't think brook has ever known best
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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