I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
