Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
