I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Randomize
