Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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