I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
