When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
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You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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