im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
