did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
