You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize