1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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