If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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