once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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