I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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