are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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