oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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