Well apparently he's into motor boating.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
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