So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
