The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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