Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
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ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
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That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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