she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
