dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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