Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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