In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize