Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
