just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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