Betty ford says i'm here all night
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
