I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
