Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
