I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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