she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
