Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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