idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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