Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
