Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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