Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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