just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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