are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
