omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
