Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
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boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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