I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
