yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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