whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
