why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
