I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
