Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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