Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
