What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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