I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
