Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
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I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
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I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize