My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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