You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
