Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
We don't watch enough power rangers
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
