yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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