My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
