come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
