yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
They took my balls.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
