Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
