yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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