His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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