I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
