i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You smell like a Billy Joel song
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Randomize
