She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
