You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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